


every december (your star lights the sky)

by larrystomlinsons



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, If you blink you miss it though, It's more of a foreplay scene, M/M, Matchmaking, Mistletoe, Misunderstandings, Pining, Shy Harry, Smut, featuring obvious louis and oblivious harry, oh well, this ended up being MUCH longer than I wanted it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrystomlinsons/pseuds/larrystomlinsons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis needs a date for the Christmas dance and Harry is the wingman that has feelings for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	every december (your star lights the sky)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [embro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/embro/gifts).



> Hiiiiiii, Merry Christmas everyone.  
> embro - I hope you like it! This story is based off of your third prompt because I've been meaning to write something like this for a while now. Thankfully, it fit your description perfectly. (I'd equally like to mention that I'm a big fan of your work so it was an honor to be able to write this)  
> Big love to amazing beta. I'm incredibly thankful for all of your help.  
> On a final note, friendly remider that this is a work of fiction. I'm not associated with any of the boys, yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill.  
> Enjoy :)
> 
> title is from Your Hallelujah by Leona Lewis.

It’s properly freezing outside. The weather must be at least below zero degrees because Harry _swears_ if he takes just one of his mittens off, he’ll definitely catch frost bite. The dry coolness of the air has to be his least favorite part of the holiday season; everything else is phenomenal according to him, considering he believes the weeks surrounding Christmas are most wonderful times of the year. But this temperature is literally cruel, Harry thinks.  

“Harry,” Zayn says, with eyes that would cut through him if they could. “Please just stop whining-It’s not even cold.” 

“Sure, except it is most definitely cold.” He replies, not even bothering to hide the way his teeth are chattering every time he so much as breathes through his mouth.  

The four lads are outside an ice rink a couple blocks from Liam’s house, anxiously waiting to walk back there and warm up. Unfortunately, they’re a little delayed – but that’s thanks to Louis of course.  

“The literal only reason you’re cold is because you’re too posh to wear an actual coat.” Niall scoffs from where he’s building a snowman with Liam.  

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m probably going to get hypothermia!” Harry complains.  

The three other lads collectively groan. 

“You are so dramatic.” Niall cries. “But I’m with you; Tommo should hurry the hell up.” 

“I’m going to have to agree with you there, Niall. Exactly how long does it take to ask a girl out?” Liam adds.  

Clearly a damn _eternity_ if this is how long it usually takes. Gosh, can’t Louis just pop the question and leave? It shouldn’t be that hard. Though Harry doesn’t know much about that, really; he’s never asked anyone out before.

Harry’s thoughts are interrupted when Louis comes bustling through the rink’s gates. Finally, he thinks. Now they can all get going.  

“So, how did it go with Eleanor, you little stud?” Niall grins. As far as Harry’s concerned, Louis’ had his eye on Eleanor Calder for a while now, but they haven’t been talking too much since she’s very busy with student council and he’s even busier with all the sports he plays. They’d literally be the most popular couple at school if they started dating – and that’s excluding Liam and Sophia who have been school sweethearts since they were in kindergarten.  

Judging by the look on Louis’ face, things didn’t go over well with Eleanor. “I mean, she straight up said that she wasn’t interested in me but that’s okay.” He says, zipping his jacket up and adjusting his trousers.  

Liam scoffs. “Never liked Eleanor, I find she’s such a snoot. She should’ve at least let you down easy.”  

Louis smiles and leads the group to start walking, much to Harry’s happiness. “Not a snoot, at least not in my personal opinion. I reckon I’d rather her tell me she’s not interested than for her to lead me on then break my heart once I’m in too deep. Besides, I think I just liked the idea of dating Eleanor – I don’t believe she’s my type if I’m being honest.” The group nod in understanding, inching closer and closer to Liam’s house.  

Something quite spectacular to observe is Louis’ dating life; it’s not that he gets around a lot, which by all means would be okay if he did, it’s just that he’s barely ever rejected by a girl. For example, if someone were to describe the typical ladies man, they’d say that they’re able to attract basically any woman they desire with hardly any effort at all. Typically, that’s Louis. Maybe it’s the scruffy hair and spiky stubble, or that he’s one of the funniest guys in the entire universe, the fact that he’s multitalented and is team captain for nearly every sport the school offers, or even that he’s one of the sweetest guys anyone could ever meet. Regardless, Louis is similar to that guy in the romantic comedies that everyone falls in love with.

Once they get to Liam’s home, Harry sees color again. So do his toes. The five lads rid of their snow and slush covered outfits and head into the basement together.  

The five boys have adapted a monthly tradition that takes place on the first Friday of every month called ‘Lads Night’. It started a couple of years ago when they coincidentally hung out all together on said dates four times in a row. Niall was the one who noticed the strange trend and they’ve been doing it ever since.  

There’s only one time of the year that Lads Night gets complicated; it’s during sports season because they have to work around Louis’ hectic schedule. Sometimes, they only meet up at one of their houses at times as late as three in the morning. But other than that, they’re pretty consistent with their get-together motifs.  

A normal Lads Night consists of playing Fifa, eating everything edible there is, and getting ballistic and giddy. Other times, they’re too tired to even function so they put on a movie and fall asleep tangled up together. Tonight is one of those nights.  

“Do we want to watch _Elf_ or _Love Actually_?” Niall asks while looking through a drawer full of Christmas movies.  

“Is that even a question, mate? We have to watch _Elf_.” Zayn adds, clearly shocked that anyone would want to watch a Hugh Grant classic. Dick. 

“No let’s watch _Love Actually_!” Harry fights as everyone sighs. _Love Actually_ is and always will be Harry’s favorite Christmas movie – hell; it’s his favorite movie of all time.  

“I honestly don’t give a fuck what we watch someone should just decide already.” Niall says. 

“Wait, what are we deciding?” Louis asks as he walks into the room looking fresh and clean with a bowl of popcorn. He sinks into the couch in the spot next to Harry.  

“Between _Elf_ or _Love Actually_ but Harry wants to watch _Love Actually_ and we want to watch _Elf_.” Zayn explains referring to him and Liam. “So basically you’re the deciding vote.”  

Louis' eyes are solely on him and suddenly Harry feels very small as a big red blush appearing on his cheeks.

“But Niall needs to vote too!” he retorts defensively. 

“He said doesn’t care.”  

Louis bites his lips, looking very conflicted but then he makes his decision. 

“Well I’m going to go with _Love Actually_ because I quite enjoy the little pornographic part at the start.” Louis smiles and puts his arm around Harry.  

Harry feels a grin start to spread across his face at the sudden victory and the realization that yeah, Louis will always have his back no matter what. He cuddles in closer to Louis and nuzzles his face in his neck.  

“Thanks man.” He murmurs after the movie’s started and they’re the only two left sitting on the sofa. Louis runs a hand through Harry’s hair in response.  

Throughout the film, Zayn and Liam fall asleep, Niall can’t get off his phone, Harry sings every song off the soundtrack and Louis doesn’t quit it with his ridiculous commentary. So once it’s all over, everyone’s pretty knackered and ready to sleep. Niall’s already halfway there judging by the way his eyes keep fluttering closed; so Harry and Louis go to the storage closet upstairs to get some blankets and pillows for the others. After providing for the rest of the group, they set their own things next to each other.  

About ten minutes and twenty two seconds of lying there wide awake and staring at the ceiling, Louis starts to talk again.  

“Psst.” He whispers. “Harry, are you awake?” 

Harry nods, even though it’s dark and Louis probably can’t even see him. “M’ awake.” There’s a pregnant pause. 

“Well then you should help me.” They turn to face each other so that their bodies are inches away from contact. Harry gets a chill from their close proximity. “If you want, that is.”  

 Harry wants to just agree and do whatever it is for Louis, but his curiosity gets the best of him.  

“Help you with what?” he mumbles, careful not to wake the others.  

As if Louis’ reading Harry’s mind, he motions to the kitchen and mouths: ‘cocoa?’ Harry moves out of his blanket and walks to the other room. Once Louis catches up with him, they open the light so that it’s dim enough to see each other’s faces but not bright enough to startle their sleeping friends in the room next door.  

“So what were you saying?” Harry continues, leaning back against the counter and twisting his rings. He never takes his rings off before he goes to bed and he’s not exactly sure why. All he knows is that his rings are very important to him and they all mean something special; they remind him of some of the best moments of his life. Maybe the rings are too precious for him to be able to take off, but he’s just never bothered to remove them.  

His favourite is the Tanzanite stoned anchor ring that his grandma bought him for Christmas one year. At the time, she was the only family member that Harry was out to; he remembers her saying word for word ‘ _Find someone whose heart you want anchored to your soul._ ’ She passed away shortly after that.  

Louis takes a deep breath and starts. “You know how I need a date for the dance?” Harry nods quickly. 

“You want me to help get Eleanor to go with you?” Harry suggests, yawning.  

Louis’ smiles but he shakes his head no. 

“Actually, I’d quite like someone else to come with me.” Louis steps closer and puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder.  

What does Louis mean – does he want Harry to set him up with someone else, or? _Oh like a wingman_ , Harry decides abruptly. He scrunches his nose up at the thought of setting Louis up with a girl. It’s not that he gets jealous per se, because Louis and Harry are only best mates. (Save for the fact that that is a lie and that Harry _totally_ gets jealous when Louis sees other people.) He hates to admit it, but he really does. Although Louis has never wronged Harry or excluded him while dating someone, he just doesn’t like it when other people are in the picture. 

Their group is like a package deal; it’s all or nothing, everyone together or no one together at all. Except for when it’s Harry and Louis – the two of them are like an _even tinier_ package on the inside of the package because they get on so well. Another reason why Harry doesn’t like others to burst their little bubble is cause as much as the other boys have corrupted him; he’s still very, very shy and doesn’t do well with meeting and being with new people. Sometimes he wonders why a person like Louis who’s popular, hyper, outgoing and spontaneous would fit so well with an introverted, focused guy like him. He guesses people can say that it just kind of happened. 

Still, Harry’s stomach twists at the thought of finding Louis someone else to be around and it doesn’t even occur to him in the slightest that he shouldn’t be feeling this way about his best friend.  

“I get it; I can set you up with someone.” Harry smiles despite his internal protestations. “I’ve always wanted to be a wingman.”  

Louis’ face is hard to read for a split second and Harry _swears_ that he sees confusion written on his face – but it’s also very dark in the room and Harry’s likely going out of his mind. That iffy expression is long gone when Louis starts to speak again.  

“Yeah, yeah...” Louis coughs into his fist and takes his hand away from Harry’s shoulder. Harry misses the contact once it ends. “A wingman it is, then.”  

They stand there for a few seconds until Harry curls into Louis and hugs him. “There it is, bring in the long embrace.” Louis says with an obvious grin. “I’m quite excited for this actually.”  

“We’ll be like Ted and Barney.” Harry adds, rubbing Louis’ back with his left arm. “Best mates.”  

Harry’s not sure whether he said that very last part _to_ Louis or if he only said it to reassure himself. 

 

~**~

 

The next Monday at lunch time, a very frustrated Harry sits down at his group’s regular table. So far, only Niall and Liam are sat there and they quickly pick up on Harry’s dodgy mood.  

“What’s up, H?” Liam asks first with his big doe eyes. Normally, Harry would just brush it off and try to get over his mood by ignoring the conflict but he _really_ needs to vent this time and it cannot be while Louis’ at the table. Harry checks to make sure that he isn’t anywhere close-by and then spots him and Zayn waiting in line at the cafeteria. The coast is clear.  

“Louis is being impossible to cater to with this whole ‘ _setting him up with someone_ ’ thing” Harry whisper-yells with over exaggerated quotation mark fingers. Niall’s eyebrows pull together and his jaw goes slack.  

“He’s having you set him up with someone?” Niall asks, clearly confused with squinting eyes and everything. 

“Yes! And he’s not doing a good job at letting me pick someone for him!” Harry explains. Liam gestures for him to continue. “He said he wanted a date for the Christmas dance that night at Liam’s and that he wanted me to help him find one so _of course_ I agreed. After that, I asked him to tell me what his type is and he was being very vague about it. Like, there are tons of nice and attractive girls in this high school so he really wasn’t giving me any meat to chew on.  

And then I suggested a couple girls from his economics class, but he said no to each one of them and just wouldn’t tell me why. It’s only been two days and I’m already stressing the hell out because of the knob.” Harry ends his rant and catches his breath quickly. Even though he just explained everything, Niall still looks absolutely confused and Liam’s just silently nodding, almost looking worried that conservative little Harry is getting so worked up.

“That makes no sense, Harry.” Niall shakes his head and bites into his sandwich.  

“What do you mean that doesn’t make sense?” Harry’s head hurts. Could Louis have already asked another girl out? Does he not want a date to the dance anymore? Has he asked Niall to be his wingman too? A series of scenarios pass through Harry’s head before Niall speaks again.  

“It could be, but I just heard that Louis was already going for someone.”   

“Who told you? Who’s he going for?” Harry raises his eyebrows and his heart starts to race. He doesn’t want to be going through all this trouble for nothing; he doesn’t want to suggest a bunch of different girls if he keeps turning them down just to be with someone else. But most of all, Harry really doesn’t want Louis to pick anyone at all. He chooses to ignore that last thought. 

“Zayn told me who it is.” Niall grins into his sandwich. Liam tries not to chuckle but struggles to contain it, making it obvious that they know something he doesn't.

Before he can get any answers out of his two friends, Louis and Zayn come back and sit down at the table and interrupt their conversation. Harry tries avoiding Louis for the rest of the lunch considering he told all of his friends who he’s interested but didn't tell Harry. That idea shatters when Louis fondly compliments Harry's eyes; he wants to kick himself at the fact that can never stay mad at anyone for long. Or, maybe that’s just the way he is with Louis. 

 

~**~

 

The first time Harry brings up the fact that Louis’ looking for someone is that same night when they go Christmas shopping just the two of them. They’re eating fish and chips at the food court when he mentions it.  

“Niall told me that you’re interested in someone.” Harry says casually while scrolling through his Instagram feed, making sure to get straight to the point. Louis on the other hand doesn’t take what Harry said lightly as he starts choking on his drink. Harry immediately gets up to help him. “Oh my Gosh are you alright?” But Louis gestures that he is in fact fine so Harry sits back down in the seat across from him.  

“I’m okay, I promise.” Louis assures, though still lightly coughing. He has a weird look on his face and he almost looks panicked for a second. Harry feels queasy in his stomach, because it’s painfully obvious that Louis didn’t choke because of the drink. He’s hiding something from him, and that doesn’t feel very nice. “It’s just, what did you say?”  

"You’re interested in someone.” Harry states and steals a chip from Louis’ tray. He shoves it into his mouth and munches on it gracefully. Louis looks utterly shocked and for all that its worth, Harry is amused. But that’s mostly because Louis is rubbish at keeping things from him.  

“You’re saying it like it’s a fact.” Louis accuses nervously.  

Harry rolls his eyes and chooses to drop the subject for the time being; instead, asking Louis how his mum is doing. He knows that there's no way he can talk to Louis about this without having him avoid the topic like the plague. Harry puts it to rest until later.

 

~**~

 

The next time is at their lockers after second period and there’s still no hope. Harry skips up to Louis and hugs him from behind. He feels the older boy tense under his touch and then he softens when he looks back and sees its Harry.  

“Haz, you’re looking awfully chipper this morning.”  Louis grins and turns to face him.  

Any onlookers would genuinely, seriously believe that there’s something non-platonic going on between them based on their body language. They’re perched next to the opening of Louis’ locker with their toes pressed together. Harry’s hands are rested on the crease of Louis’ hips and Louis’ got a hand on the back of Harry’s neck while the other is holding a textbook. They look like an item. Then again, Harry doesn’t mind the speculation; people can think what they want because it would never come between them. 

“I just haven’t seen you all morning,” Harry says as he looks down into Louis’ baby blue eyes. The height difference between the two of them is remarkable, actually. Even though Louis is a full year older than him, he still hasn’t managed to surpass the lengthy advantage Harry’s got on him. It’s all very endearing.  

“I know – I just had some revising to do. Got meself a big quiz coming up before the holiday break, had to skip out and work in the library.” Louis pouts, tilting his head and not letting his gaze flicker from where it's focused on Harry.  _He’s so adorable_ , he thinks. 

“Revising or plotting your advances on that girl you’re interested in?” Harry asks but then Louis’ face falls just like it did the other day in the food court.  

“I Was Revising.” Louis clarifies.  

“You were not.” Harry teases, poking at the hollow just below his best friend’s cheekbone. 

“I was too!” Louis stifles a giggle and takes all of Harry’s face into his hands. “Tell you what; Come help me revise tonight at my house and I’ll listen to you rant about how uncultured the kind of Christmas music I listen to is and how Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is not considered a classic and I won’t disagree with you no matter how hard it is for me. I’ll even throw in a cuddle. What do you think about that, baby cakes?”   

A blush creeps all the way from Harry's neck to the sky. It's just that Louis does this _thing_ where he acts like he’s so fond of Harry, calls him pumpkin and pampers him and it flusters him every single time. Harry isn’t blind; he knows Louis is attractive -- unbelievably so, but that’s never been the reason why he gets so bothered when Louis’ like this. Harry thinks it’s more because he himself has developed a little crush on the lad throughout the years. 

Correction: Massive crush.  

It’s a harmless one, really. Harry’s just infatuated with him like an everyday ‘he’s cute and he gives me butterflies’ kind of thing. Maybe it’s a little more serious than that – but it’s moments like this that Harry thinks Louis has this sort of infatuation with him, too. He being solely interested in the opposite gender from Harry puts quite the damper on things, though.

The thing is, Harry could never resent Louis for not liking him back. It’s not his fault that he views Harry as a friend and nothing more. Even if he did perhaps see Harry as something more than a bro dude pal and wasn’t straight, their relationship would never work. (Harry isn’t exactly sure why he thinks it wouldn’t work; if it were right he's sure they'd make a great pair. He mostly just tells himself that so he can resist the draw Louis provides him.) 

“Sounds brilliant, Louis.” Harry smiles as he walks away and waves goodbye. It’s then that he realizes that Louis’ always going to dodge the fucking question.

 

~**~

 

It takes about two more days until Harry loses it. He’d completely sworn off asking Niall or Zayn about this – or even Liam for that matter, who seemed to think that the situation at lunch the other day was hilarious. But here he is at Zayn’s locker to get more details on the lady that Louis likes.  

“You’re coming to ask me about Louis, aren’t you?” Zayn says, the sentance sounding more like a statement than a question. Oddly, this intimidates Harry. It’s obvious that besides him, Zayn is Louis’ closest friend in the group. Still, it infuriates Harry that Zayn knows considerately more about Louis’ love life than he does.  

“Yes. I am.” Harry mumbles sassily. Zayn shuts his locker door after adding a couple books to his bag. He turns to look at Harry with his eyebrows raised and a hip popped out.  

“Go on, then.” Zayn says.  

“Who is it that Louis likes?” Harry finally asks. This causes Zayn to smile bashfully and that just confuses Harry all the more. Zayn adjusts his jumper huffs out a laugh.  

“You’re his wingman, figure it out yourself.” Zayn says sarcastically, grin still sly on his lips. Harry shrugs in frustration, triggering his mini blowout.

“I’ve tried setting him up with every girl in this school! He’s constantly turning down my suggestions and avoiding me whenever I ask about this girl he wants likes. Why can’t he just come out and say it, why did he have to tell you and not me? I’m his best friend too – hell, I’m the one who’s supposed to find him a date to the damn dance! How come _you_ get to know who it is and I don’t?” Harry rants, not missing a beat for breath.  

Zayn looks even more pleased than he did before and he starts walking down the hallway, gesturing for Harry to follow him. They’re going to lunch, Harry thinks but they might have history first. Harry follows Zayn anyways.   

“I’ll tell you what; it would be disrespectful of me to tell you without his permission. Instead, you can ask me questions about this person and I’ll answer them 100% honestly.”  

 Harry isn’t exactly opposed to doing just that. As much as he quite likes the idea of Louis dating him, he keeps reminding himself that if Louis were interested, he would speak up and that he’s doing _this_ – the wingman thing – to help Louis be happy.  

That’s why Harry is so grateful that Zayn is letting him have this information. Now he can try and solve this little mystery so he can set Louis up. Hopefully then, this will all be over with.  

“Do I know her?” Harry asks first. Zayn tries to hold a cackle in but it ends up coming out anyways.  

“I sure as hell _hope_ you know ‘em.” Zayn replies. And that’s puzzling Harry, because he doesn’t even know many girls. He doesn’t know lots of guys either – he’s not the most extraverted person. So Harry’s confused as to why this girl is played up to be such an obvious option. Is she popular? Is she close to them? Harry asks exactly that. 

“What, is she close to us or something?” 

“Very. Super, very close to us. Louis and this person get on really well.” Zayn replies. Before Harry can even but in again, they’re downstairs at the cafeteria and he’s being lead to the table. The insufficient amount of information Harry got from Zayn is driving Harry nuts.

For the rest of their lunch, Harry’s left with billions of unanswered questions. _What does she look like? Is she in all of our classes or something? She surely doesn’t hang around with us much if I can’t even put a name or a face to her._ That is until Harry thoroughly thinks about what Zayn had told him earlier.

 _Very close to us_.  

 _Super, Very close to us._  

 _I sure as hell hope you know ‘em._  

 _Louis and this person get on really well._  

Harry comes to a conclusion in about thirty seconds – it’s one he doesn’t want to make or much less think about – but it’s the only one that truly makes sense.  

Louis isn’t crushing on Eleanor because she and Louis don’t even get on well. Louis doesn’t like Hannah because although he thinks she’s cute, Louis’ never talked about her or introduced her to any of the lads. Louis doesn’t even fancy Paige, the most attractive girl in his grade because when Harry had suggested her to Louis, he had crinkled his nose and said “ _You wouldn’t like her, Haz. Trust me. It’s best we don’t ask her._ ” The only other girls they ever associate with around school are Perrie, Barbara, Sophia, and all the rest who have dated the lads.It can’t be someone from their school because Harry has suggested _every fucking one_ of them and Louis’ still found a sour excuse to avoid them all. He must really be gone for this person if he can shut down any relationship help that Harry can offer him. And that is exactly how Harry determines this: 

It’s Gemma.  

Louis has fallen for his older sister, Gemma, and Harry couldn’t be more destroyed if he tried. How could he be so blind, for fuck’s sakes? There’s no way it’s not Gemma – her and Louis text all the time to trade embarrassing pictures of Harry and they probably talk about other things too. On top of that, they always have a laugh when they’re together and when Harry’s late coming back home, sometimes he’ll find them together without him. Gemma’s also very close with the other lads seeing as they’re often hanging out at Harry’s place. To conclude, Harry should hope he knows his own sister because that would be very sad if he didn’t.  

The answer is so completely obvious that Harry wishes he’d known sooner – he wishes that he could’ve told himself the first time that Louis hung out with him that he and his sister would probably end up together. He wishes he had known this so that he wouldn’t develop this embarrassing crush on his best friend. He wishes he’d known earlier so that it wouldn’t become as big of a deal as it is now – so that he could have prepared himself. Finally, he wishes that it didn’t hurt this much.  

And Harry is so utterly stupid. He’s stupid for thinking that he ever had a shot, he’s stupid for thinking that being Louis’ wingman wouldn’t end up hurting him in the end. He’s stupid for not realizing all of this sooner – but most of all, he’s stupid in the sense that he’s stupidly in love. And he knows that there’s nothing he can do about it.  

The only logical thing to do in Harry’s mind is the get the hell out of the school. He does just that, abandoning the lunch table without a word while everyone’s caught up in one of Louis’ stories. The beautiful, magnetic, charming and funny Louis – Harry runs up the stairs all the way to the third floor where his locker is and grabs all of his things. He shoots a text to his mum, telling her that he’ll be walking home for lunch and one to Liam, explaining that he’s not well and needs to lie down.  

The realization that he’s in love with Louis comes too unexpectedly. It hits him like pile of bricks, like the bricks from the wall at school he just exited collapsed on him all at once. Sure, he’s always sort of known that he’s got deep feelings for his lad, but he’s always ignored them – pushing the intrusive thoughts to the back of his mind where they didn’t matter anymore. Never did it occur to him that he was _in love with Louis_.  

Walking through the streets, Harry realizes that love really isn’t like in the movies. Falling in love isn’t comparable to rainbows and butterflies. Being in love may be, but falling in love certainly isn’t. Harry understands where the ‘falling’ expression comes from in that moment. Falling in love with Louis felt more like getting pushed off of a cloud and immediately hitting rock bottom than gracefully floating into his arms. Love is hard and has its struggles. Harry realizes this the hard way. 

Harry passes street lamps with red velvet ribbons corseting around them, colossal trees adorned with the most luxurious ornaments imaginable. He sees old houses decorated with joyful red and green Christmas lights. He observes the old couple embracing each other on their porch. His heart melts when he notices kids building their snowmen with their parents, and he sees a woman collecting money for a Christmas charity door-to-door. Harry notes how the sky is glistening white, shedding puffy snowflakes that gracefully make their way to the soft ground, and he smells the sweet smell of gingerbread coming from the bakery down the street.  He can hear families making milestones, laughing and talking. He can hear his own footsteps dragging through the crunching winter blanket on the sidewalk. He can hear an old holiday tune playing quietly from someone’s home contrasting with the peace and quiet of the general atmosphere. Harry acknowledges that all of these things are indeed very beautiful and help make Christmas the most amazing time of the year. But not once of those things – not all of those things combined are even _comparable_ to how beautiful Louis is to him.  

Harry doesn’t realize that he’s tearing up until his chin is wet and he’s gasping for air. He’s almost home, he knows it and he should really stop crying or else his mum will ask questions and he really isn’t in the mood for that right now – but he just can’t help it. His face is probably already red and blotchy and his curls are probably matted to his forehead like a proper idiot.  

 _Love shouldn’t hurt this much. It shouldn’t have to be this hard,_ Harry thinks. He stops in his tracks, takes a deep breath, counts to ten and he lets himself hear nothing but the world around him and his own steady pulse.  

He receives a text -- one that confuses him to no end yet causes another stream of tears.

 _Louis Tomlinson <3, 12:13pm_ 

 _Always in my heart, Harry Styles._  

_Yours Sincerely, Louis._

 

~**~

 

As much as this Louis crisis is bothering him, Harry realizes that he needs to stop over thinking everything and do what would make Louis happy. This starts with admitting to himself that Louis is not and will never be in love with him. (Not that hasn't had thoughts of that sort before, but Harry felt it would make it more official if he said it to himself out loud in front of a mirror.)  

The second step is setting Louis up with someone who he actually wants to be with this time ‘round. That obviously means his own big sister, Gemma. Harry shudders at the thought of that.  

His plan is simple; he and Gemma are supposed to set up the Christmas tree tonight so he figures, why not invite Louis over? Certainly that would please Louis because he’ll get to hang out with his best friend _and_ the person he fancies for a few hours. By the end of the night, the two lovebirds should be fawning over each other – hopefully not in Harry’s prescience – and then his little wingman job will be over once and for all. With great success, that is.  

There’s only one tiny problem that comes with this plan and the fact of the matter is that he’s too nervous to ask Louis or Gemma if they’re interested in one another. Harry feels like that could either make or break his entire plan so he chooses to just let it happen naturally. However, this might not be a good choice either because the two of them seem more like best friends than lovers so they obviously won’t know that it's supposed to be a date.  

 _Oh well_ , Harry tells himself stubbornly. _If it doesn’t work out then it it’s not my problem._   

Harry shoots Louis a text back and tries not the re read the last message Louis sent to him because if he does, he’ll just get emotional all over again. He quickly types out a “come over?” with two heart emojis until he decides against those and just goes with a regular text. He takes a moment to decide whether his plan is a good idea or not but then his fingers get the best of him and he presses send.  

Shit, fuck. This means there’s a 50% chance he’s going to see Louis tonight. He can either say yes or no. There’s also 50% chance that Louis and his sister start dating and possibly get married, but Harry refuses to think about that when all he needs to do now is get ready.  

He runs downstairs and cleans up the rest of the dishes, tidies all the little messes that there are in the living room and clears space for the tree. He heads to the basement and gathers all of the boxes of ornaments to bring them up. Once he gets the last box up the stairs, he finds Gemma and Louis conversing in the living room. Looks like Louis arrived early. 

Since he’s still in the doorway, its dark enough that Louis and Gemma won’t notice him but he can see them crystal and hear them clearly.  Fuck, Louis looks so lovable, in his Fifa England sweatshirt and Harry’s burgundy beanie. He looks so pure, so soft and clean. Harry wants to snog his face off. 

He realizes that they’re talking about the Christmas dance. This is it, Louis’ definitely going to ask her out now. Harry's conflicted as to whether he should listen in or completely block them out but he’s not strong enough to ignore them. Again, curiosity gets the best of him. 

“It’s going to be so fun. Since I’m in the event committee I get to decorate it. Let me tell you, it will be so beautiful in there. Archways, faux ice sculptures, the lot.” Gemma says and it looks like she’s trying to convince Louis of something. 

“I don’t know, Gemma.” Louis sings. “If he doesn’t catch on soon it doesn’t look like I’m going to be going at all.”  

“Come on – you – you can’t just _give up_ this quickly, even if he doesn’t catch on you can still go to the dance!”  

“I’m definitely not going to that dance if I don’t have a date.” Louis states stubbornly. “I’ve been so obvious about it too; I don’t think he wants me to do this.” 

“I’m almost positive Harry wants this to happen.” Gemma says almost below a whisper but it’s loud enough that Harry can still hear her. 

“I’m just so nervous.” Louis says back.  

At this point, Harry is beyond confused. What in the world are they talking about? Obviously it’s something concerning him considering they mentioned his name. Now Harry jumps to yet another conclusion too quickly: Gemma and Louis are already together and have been keeping it a secret from Harry. It makes sense that they want to make it seem like Harry set them up so that it’s not weird when they’re finally together. Harry is almost sure of this until he hears what Louis says next. 

“So how’s Ashton doing?” he says and Gemma blushes furiously.  

“How the hell do you even know about that?” Gemma asks blasphemed. All Harry can think is _who’s Ashton?_  

“You two are so obvious in the halls, he talks about you all the time at footie and your face just confirmed all of my suspicions about a relationship between the two of you. Intuitive, I am.” Louis teases with an enormous grin plastered on his mouth. 

Harry decides this is the moment to step in, happy and relieved that Louis doesn’t want to date his sister.  

“Well, well, well. What do we have here? Is my big sister seeing someone?” he says, walking closer to the pair and placing the box of ornaments on the table. Before he knows it, he’s bombarded by the smell of _LouisLouisLouis_ and strong arms around his torso. Needless to say, his breath is taken away.  

“ _Haz_!”  Louis sighs into the hug. “I cannot believe you left me all alone today with those three other twats.”   

Now Louis has this effect on Harry where he could say anything remotely endearing (which is practically everything that he says in Harry’s eyes) and his face will morph into this intense looking smile that kind of looks like a frog – basically his mates and family call it his Louis face. Harry’s 100% sure that it’s the face he’s making right now.  

They pull away Gemma purses her lips, rolling her eyes at their public display of affection. 

“I wasn’t well.” Harry says and Louis barks out a laugh.  

“Am I mistaking you for the guy who understudied one of the biggest parts in the school play last year even though he had the stomach flu? Please, Harry; I know you better than that.  I’m not even going to ask what was wrong, because I have an idea already -- but I owe it to you not to ask, considering you were that upset about it. Just know that you can always talk to me. Cause y'know, that's what mates are for.”  

Harry is panicking. Harry is also stupid for thinking that Louis wouldn’t notice that he left ‘because he was upset and not because he wasn’t well. Louis has always been able to read him like an open book – he can correctly guess almost anything he’s feeling. Harry must be so _obvious_ to him; Louis must already know that he’s in love with him. And God is he ever in love with him – he can’t believe the state of denial he was in before this day. His love grows stronger by the mere prescience of the older boy.  

“Earth to Harry...” Gemma calls, waving her hands in front of his face. “You know what Louis; I think he might have really been sick.”  

Harry shakes his head out and offers a small smile.  

“I know you’re here for me Lou, I should have texted you before I left. That wasn’t very nice of me.” He apologizes. Louis nods and then clasps his hands together, working to change the topic.

“What the hell’s all this talk about, then? We have ourselves a tree to build!” Louis says enthusiastically and takes the last box that’s set on the table.

 

~**~

 

It’s 7pm and they’ve only just put the tree together. There’s not one decoration on it. They started putting it together at 4:30pm.  

It’s not that they had a rough time putting it up; it’s just that they’re major procrastinators when they’re an ensemble. They had laid out half of the ornaments when Louis wanted to bake cookies. They put the bottom and middle half of the artificial tree up right after their banter about how the classic version of ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ is way better than the Justin Bieber and Mariah Carrey version. They don’t know when Gemma stopped helping. They don’t even know where she _went_.  

“You have really long locks, Curly.” Louis drawls out when they’re taking a short break, cuddled up with hot cocoa and literally watching footage a fireplace broadcasted on the telly. In their defense, it's playing classic Christmas tunes on in the back.  

“I know; I need a cut.” Harry says with a voice hoarse from the hot chocolate. 

“No!” Louis replies almost instantly. “I mean – yeah if you want to but – I really like it long.”  

“But when it’s long, it’s not as curly. So you can’t call me Curly if it’s not curly, yeah?” Harry sings.  

Harry hears Louis swallow tightly.  

“I think it’s always wonderful.” There’s a pause, “And always curly.”  

The way he says this sends Harry into a vortex of goo, and its Louis scented goo. But that kind of goo is the good kind of goo. Yes, it’s definitely the good kind of goo. _Louis goo._  

Harry feels drunk _._ Maybe Louis spiked their hot cocoa _._  

Harry snaps back into reality. Right, curly and wonderful; Louis said his hair is always wonderful and always curly. What else is new? Oh yeah, that’s new. Louis doesn’t just hand out compliments to people when he doesn’t mean it. Harry loves Louis.  

Harry forces himself to say something – _anything_. 

“Do you reckon?” Harry looks up at Louis quizzically, still purring from the feeling of Louis’ fingers threading through his hair.  

“Yeah, I do. I really like it, it suits you well.” He says almost _shyly_ , it’s so completely unlike Louis to seem this vulnerable that Harry can’t help but blush furiously. “In fact, it’s so nice and long that you can put a ribbon in it.”  

And then Louis’ tender fingers are replaced with a Christmas ribbon, it’s being tied around his head like a headscarf.  

“What have you gone and done, you tosser?” Harry asks, hand reaching to take it out of his hair. Louis’ hand stops his and it’s so gentle that Harry’s heart melts into an entirely new puddle of goo.  

“Keep it. It’s proper hipster.” He says and Harry doesn’t even have to look at him to notice that he’s smiling; he can hear it in his voice. “It’s you.”  

They sit in a comfortable silence for a few more seconds with their heartbeats and breaths in sync. Harry finally gets the courage to get up from the incredibly comfortable cuddle they’ve established and groans.  

“We still have an entire ass tree to decorate.” Harry slouches and grabs ribbons out of the boxes, heading over to the tree to size them and put them on. Louis follows, holding a couple of ornaments also.  

“It’s at times like this when I wish I weren’t the laziest person to grace this earth.” Louis takes the other end of the ribbon that Harry is holding and helps him place it around the tree.  Harry can’t help but notice how well they work together when they set their minds to it. If they didn’t talk so much, they’d probably have been done hours ago because they have a fabulous work ethic together. There are no conflicts; they help each other out, and all in all they’re a great couple.   

When they finally have the ribbons all intact on the tree, they quickly move on to the ornaments without talking. Their silence is ruined when a French opera song starts blasting from Gemma’s room questionably. They both burst into laughter. Once again, the ornaments are forgotten and they are literally rolling on the floor laughing their arses off. Harry didn’t even think it was that funny to begin with, but once Louis started laughing with him it got kind of contagious.  

Louis’ laughs are like sharp little cries that often squeak at the end; similar to what someone would imagine a mouse’s laugh would resemble. It’s a very cute laugh, Harry must admit it. Louis’ pretty blue eyes turn into little slits of aqua complemented by the sweetest of crinkles. Those are Harry’s favorites because that’s how he knows when Louis is genuinely laughing and is seriously happy. Then there’s his smile; the shape of his mouth morphing into a demi-circle of joy and his pearly whites shining bright like the stars. Sometimes, Harry swears he sees dimples starting to form just next to his mouth; but when Harry ever mentions it to the boys or his family, they all just say: “It’s because you two spend too much time together. He’s bound to morph into you somehow!” Harry normally turns into a tomato and dismisses the entire topic.  

Although the laugh attack that Louis’ having now is heavenly to watch, Harry collects himself and stands up, only giggling for a little while longer.  

“Why is your sister listening to French opera?” Louis sighs while standing up too.  

“I don’t even know. In fact, I didn’t think the French did opera.” He replies mindlessly.  

Apparently that’s even _funnier_ than what happened before because Louis starts to cackle again – this time; it’s way harder than the last time. Harry just furrows his eyebrows bemusedly and stares down at Louis.  

“Harry –” 

“Louis we really need to finish decorating this tree. Enough talk about opera.” Harry tries being serious this time but his statement sounds more like a half-hearted sigh at best. So, Louis purses his lips together, still holding a giggle in, and obediently steps over to grab a handful of Christmas balls.  

Then he starts to sing his own rendition of Jingle Bells but changes the lyrics to be “Jingle Balls”. 

Can this boy ever be serious? Apparently he can’t. Harry wouldn’t have him any other way, though.

 

~**~

 

They _finally_ have all the decorations up when something interresting happens.  

“Harry, how come you’ve never had a boyfriend?” Louis asks, sitting on a stool at the island, munching on a cookie. He doesn't meet Harry's eyes, more focused on scrolling through his phone.  

Harry is completely taken back and his eyebrows rise all the way to the roof.  

“Uh...” he stutters, not really sure of what to say. “I’ve just never been interested in someone that way. I don’t know?”  

Louis stills completely. “ _Really_? You’ve... Never been interested in someone?” _Of course I have, I’m in love with you_ , Harry thinks. He still hasn’t looked at Harry throughout this entire encounter.  

“Well, not anyone that’s...” He tries to think of something that’s not completely pathetic. “Not anyone that’s ever liked me back.” He fails.   

Louis nods. “That’s fair enough. Any lad would be lucky to have you though, baby cakes. And you know it.”  

Harry’s heart does a flip in his chest at the comment but he tries to keep his expression neutral.  

“Good to know, _Boobear_.” Louis’ eyes widen and he immediately tackles Harry to the ground.  

“You cannot call me that you – you fucking _fuck_!” He says and they’re both laughing as Louis’ fingers start to dig into his ribs. They stop laughing and Louis rolls off of him; now they’re both staring at the ceiling of Harry’s kitchen, and it all feels oddly similar to that night when they couldn’t sleep at Liam’s.  Losing track of time is something very common between the two of them and they couldn’t care less. Just like that, minutes tick by. “I’m serious. Call me that again and I’ll tear you apart.” Louis says a little while later. 

“Whatever, wreck me all you'd like but you'd never make me scream. I don't falter.” Harry blurts without realizing the sexual innuendo he just made. They look at each other with eyes larger than ever and start to laugh once again.  

“I’m not entirely opposed to taking you up on that bet, Curly.” Louis breathes, still laughing and _shit_ if that doesn’t fluster Harry. 

They stand up and make their way to the living area to observe their Christmas tree masterpiece. The lights are dim and there’s soft instrumental holiday music in the background. Louis and Harry are standing close together looking at the tree up and down. Onlookers would be able to tell that the two of them made the tree just by looking at it; some ornaments are thoughtfully positioned whereas others are misplaced and put on quickly. There are even a few Christmas balls placed in the shape of a penis. It’s so obviously HarryandLouis that Harry could cry. He'd take a picture of it, frame it, and cry some more. The tree looks perfect, in other words. He’s so caught up in admiring it that he doesn’t even realize that a crucial part of it is missing; there’s no star up on top.  

“We forgot to put the star up.” Harry says and then Louis hands it to him.

“You put it up; I don’t feel like getting on a chair. I’m lazy.” Louis says softly while pulling up a stool and placing it in front of him.  

“Sounds good...” Harry steps up on it and takes the star from Louis’ hand. He delicately places the star on the peak of the artificial tree and secures it. Once it’s on good, he steps down but the crease between the back and the seat of the stool gets caught around Harry’s ankle, and before he knows it, he’s tumbling down with the chair and into Louis arms. The impact makes Louis lose balance too and now their entire bodies are pressed together from chest to toe, Harry’s hands rested on Louis’ shoulders as they lie on the ground.  

“Oops?” Harry says.  

“Hi” Louis sighs.  

And now they’re just staying there, staring at each other for what feels like hours. Louis bites his lip and Harry can feel his heart hammering in his chest. He wonders if Louis’ is beating this hard too.  

Louis’ eyes are comparable to the ocean; a deep blue with so much beauty and mystery. Like the Dead Sea, except Harry could definitely sink into his eyes. Kind of like an anchor. And then Harry thinks of getting lost at sea – of course if he’s with Louis he’ll always be lead back home. Harry wonders when home stopped being his actual home and instead started being Louis.   

That’s a deep thought.  

Louis bites his bottom lip so hard that all the blood drains from it and then releases it, bringing back its natural deep red color. Harry doesn’t realize they’ve been looking at each other’s lips until he looks back up at Louis’ eyes and they’re trailing downwards.  

And then Louis rolls them over so that he’s on top of Harry, his eyes flickering from his lips, to his eyes, to his lips and then to his eyes.  

Harry is trying his best to stay calm and collected. Are they going to kiss? Why is this so intense? Everything else around them is blocked out; nothing else matters but _LouisLouisLouisLouis_. (Then again, when _does_ anything else but him matter?)  He looks so beautiful, soft, happy and more importantly _hot_. 

And then Louis is leaning in. This is it. They’re going to kiss, Harry’s sure of it. He’s craving thin lips on his plump ones; he wants to know how Louis feels – how Louis tastes. He wants to kiss the boy he’s fallen for with everything he has.  

Louis nuzzles his nose against Harry’s and it would take nothing more than moving a millimeter for their mouths to connect. The anticipation is killing him inside, his heart’s now fluttering like a butterfly whereas before his pulse felt like it could break through a wall.  

Harry closes his eyes and Louis gets impossibly closer but they still aren’t kissing yet. They dart back open and Louis’ breath hitches when something starts vibrate between their legs. Louis' eyes shut as he sighs in frustration. Sitting up, rested on Harry’s hips, he answers the moment-ruining phone call.  

“Hey,” Louis says, clearly not impressed by his fate. 

They were just about to kiss. Louis was going to kiss Harry, they were going to _kiss_. Harry can’t even register the fact that that was going to happen. He wonders what exactly it would’ve felt like; whether it would’ve been gentle, rough, deep, light, if Louis’ lips would mold together with Harry’s perfectly or if they’d press together forcefully. Would they have just kissed and cuddled? Would they have made out? Would it have been full of love or lust? Now, Harry’s afraid that an opportunity like this won’t ever come about again.

Louis hangs up the phone and puts it back in his pocket, rolling his eyes. He stands up off of Harry and pulls the younger boy up to his feet with him.  

“I have to pick the twins up from dance class. Mum’s working late.” He explains. Harry feels the strong urge to pout but he doesn’t think that would be appropriate considering they almost kissed and Harry’s not sure where they stand now. Pouting would probably imply that he wants him to stay because he wants to kiss him. Even though that _is_ the case, he doesn’t want Louis to think it is. He’s just scared and he has every right to be. His seemingly straight best friend who he’s also in love with almost kissed him; if that isn’t something terrifying, fuck.   

“That’s fine with me – thanks for helping me tonight.” Harry says and walks Louis to the door.  

After Harry’s helped gather all of Louis’ things, they’re standing at the door just looking at one another. Louis still ooks so damn cute in his jacket and Harry still can’t get over the fact that he’s wearing his beanie. Louis’ got a small smile pasted on his lips – lips that Harry nearly kissed – and his eyes are shining brighter than the snowflakes falling outside in the night sky. Harry feels lightheaded, but in the good way. Speechless. He has his breath taken away.

This feeling is love; this feeling has _always_ been love. How could he have not known sooner?  

Harry has spent a total of nine Christmases with Louis in his lifetime - this year being their tenth. He couldn’t be more amazed if he tried. He’s seen a hyper, energetic, loud little boy turn into an even more hyper, athletic, soft, happy and handsome man. At this point, as much as he’s in love, he’s so grateful that he knows Louis Tomlinson and knows that he knows in his heart that they will always be a part of each other. 

Gently, Louis leans in presses a languid kiss to the end of Harry’s nose.  

“I had fun.”Louis says softly.  

“I did too.” Harry replies, unable to wipe the big grin on his face. This feels like a date to him – was this a date? Definitely not, even though they did lots of date-like things. Then again, they always do date-like things together. Harry is definitely over thinking things.  

“See you tomorrow, Haz. If you aren’t at school, I’m never going to speak to you again.” Louis teases and pats Harry’s back.  

“I'll keep that in mind, Lou. Bye!” Harry says and then Louis is out the door, sending one last wave and nod in Harry’s direction.  

Through the window, Harry watches Louis get into his car and drive away in the beautiful winter weather. Through his reflection in the window, he sees the ribbon that Louis tied in his hair and smiles. He’s always wondered if he’d look good in a headscarf.  

If Louis put it in and insisted it looks good, it must mean it’s true.

And if Harry proceeds to wear a headscarf the rest of the week, it means nothing, right? 

 

~**~

 

There are three days until the Christmas dance and Harry is ninety percent sure that he’s going to fail his little wingman mission for Louis. It’s been a week since the whole Gemma and Louis thing happened and he’s honestly given up since. Louis also hasn’t talked to him about the kissing scenario either and quite frankly, Harry is way too nervous to bring it up just in case it was just a lustful mistake for him. Harry doesn’t want it to be a mistake. On top of that, Louis has stopped complaining about the whole dating thing so Harry assumes he’s not as bothered about it as he was before. Still, Harry thinks he should give it one more go just to make sure. 

That’s why he’s waiting by Louis’ car at the end of the day to ask where they stand on the whole situation. And judging from when Louis used to drive Harry home from school, Louis' already five minutes late from his usual time and Harry’s getting a little bit impatient.  

Somebody taps his shoulder, startling him, but he thinks _finally, we can leave now._ That is until he turns around and sees that it isn’t Louis behind him. In fact, Louis still isn’t anywhere to be seen but there is an attractive bloke standing there. His name is Chris and Harry knows him from one of his classes; Chris is a little bit shorter than Harry but he’s not as short as Louis. He’s got dirty blond hair and a sharp jaw line with no stubble. His eyes are brown and he’s got thick lips. To say the least, he’s a pretty attractive guy. They’ve never properly spoken before but Harry knows that he’s on the footie team with Louis. Harry also knows that he recently came out as bisexual and was the valedictorian of their year last year.  

“You’re Harry, right?” Chris asks and Harry blushes; people don’t normally introduce themselves to him, especially not good looking guys. Then again, not a lot of people really know who Harry is aside from the fact that he hangs around with Louis and the other guys.

“Um, yeah that’s me.” He scratches at the back of his head and offers a small smile. “Chris.” 

“Well I know we haven’t talked much but I was wondering if you had a date to the dance.” Chris asks in a questionable manner and Harry swears that his palms are starting to sweat. He knows he’s what being asked and all he can think is  _why the hell not_? Even if he has massive feelings for his best friend, they aren’t even dating or anything so it’s not like he’s hurting anyone by doing this. He doesn’t think this will help him get over Louis per se, but he’s sure that it will be a step in the right direction if he says yes. So he plays along, no matter how much his heart and gut is telling him not to.  

“I don’t have a date to the dance. Why?” He answers shyly. Chris smiles cutely and tilts his head to the left. 

“Mostly because I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me, is all. I’ve seen you around, you’re cute, and you’re smart and funny; all good things in my books.” Harry giggles the tiniest bit after Chris says this.  

“You’re not so bad yourself. Thank you for coming to ask me in person, that was very sweet of you.” Harry grins like an idiot. “And if you’ll still have me, I’ll go to the dance with you.” That was very tough to say. Harry feels proud of himself for being this outgoing with someone who’s almost a complete stranger to him. There's something natural between he an Chris, and he likes that.

Chris licks his lips and takes out his phone.  

“Of course I’ll still have you.” He passes Harry his phone and it’s already open on contacts. “Punch your number in and I’ll text you, yeah?”  

Harry quickly types in his cell number and passes the phone back to Chris.  

“Only I would get asked out three days before the dance. I was almost sure I was going to go alone this year.” Harry says, attempting to make small talk while leaning on Louis’ car. Shit – where is Louis? Harry’s sure he’s at least ten minutes late now. If Chris is out though, Louis most certainly should be out soon too.   

“I’m actually surprised that you weren’t asked before me. You’re the cutest guy in our grade.” Harry’s sure he’s red from his toes up; nobody compliments him so openly except for Louis. Everyone else is either stuck in the ‘no homo’ mentality or think that they can’t compliment someone that’s not straight.

“Look at me blushing. That’s funny though because you’re way more attractive than I am –” He hears someone behind them. He looks and sees that it’s Louis, who’s trying to get to his car. Chris and Harry are unintentionally blocking Louis from said car.  

Louis is in his workout kit – he was probably in the gym doing extra training after practice and that’s why he’s late.  

“Harry, hi! I was going to call to talk to you.” He looks at Chris and furrows his eyebrows for a split second. “Chris.” Louis acknowledges sternly. Chris offers a small wave.  

“So um, Harry, I’ll text you. See you around. Bye Louis.” Chris says, backing up slowly. He seemed very intimidated but Harry dismisses that thought smiles at him, waving goodbye. 

“And I’ll text you back. See you tomorrow, Chris!”  He turns back to Louis and he’s sporting an unreadable expression. When is he not these days? It’s like Harry barely understands his boy anymore and he hates it.

“Want me to drive you home?” Louis asks and Harry quickly nods.  

“Thanks, yeah.” He replies as he walks around to the passenger side and gets in the vehicle.  

“So you and Chris are friends now?” Louis asks, buckling his belt up and looking over at the younger boy.  

“Not quite – I mean _yeah,_ but” Harry smiles, excited to tell Louis the news. “He just asked me to the dance! I’ve never been asked out by a boy before! He seems really nice, don’t you think, Louis? You know him from footie, yeah?”  

It appears that Louis has zoned out.  

“Louis?” He asks again and Louis shakes his head, doing his fake smile. Harry knows Louis’ fake smile and he doesn’t understand how Louis still doesn’t get that. Why does he even try to hide his emotions from Harry anymore when Harry can see right through him?

“Um... Yeah I heard he’s a nice enough lad. I’m not close enough with him to be considered mates, but... He seems like a pretty good guy.” He clears his throat and looks into Harry’s eyes. “I’m happy for you.” Harry knows right away that Louis’ lying to him and judging by the way his voice cracks on the last word of his sentence, Harry can tell that he’s feeling hurt. 

That gets Harry thinking; why the hell isn’t Louis happy for him? Didn’t Louis ask him the other night why he’s never had a boyfriend before? Surely Louis should want Harry to date someone and be happy, right? Maybe Louis is just jealous because he doesn’t have a date to the dance and Harry does. That would be silly though because Harry’s tried so hard to find a girl for Louis but he kept turning them down at the time. Harry now decides that fuck it, he’s not going to bend over backwards for Louis’ dating life anymore seeing as it always seems to bite him in the ass.   

“Thanks...” Harry mumbles. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something?”  

Louis starts the engine of the car and starts driving. He doesn’t reply for a couple of seconds.  

“It’s nothing – I forgot what I was going to say.”  

“Oh.” Harry nods, looking out the window. Louis is lying to him and it leaves Harry feeling unsettled. This is probably the most frustrating point of their friendship to date.  

They stay silent for the entire car ride and when Harry gets home, he receives a text from an unknown number which he adds to his contacts, assuming its Chris. 

 _Chris, 3:45pm_  

 _Hi... I would really love to take you to the dance but I was just wondering if you’re with Louis or not? He seemed pretty angry to see me around you and I’m not sure why. Sorry if this sounds foolish? I’m just trying to clear some things up. Get back to me please xx_   

Harry is quick to type out his reply, taken back a bit. He realized that Chris _might’ve_ been the reason Louis was distant in the car earlier -- still, Harry just thinks he was jealous that Harry had a date and he didn’t.  

 _To: Chris_  

 _Hiii Chris. I would love to go with you :) Don’t be ridiculous, I’m single. Xx_  

He receives another new text message.  

 _Chris, 3:53pm_  

 _I’m glad you’re saying yes, and I’m also glad you’re single ;) I’m looking forward to the dance. Xx_  

A toothy smile spreads on Harry’s face just as Gemma walks into his room.  

“What are you being all smiley about?” She says, bringing in a laundry basket and placing it on Harry’s dresser.  

“You won’t believe what happened today.” He walks over to Gemma and grabs her shoulders. “I have a date to the dance!”  

Her immediate reaction is to scream of joy and jump around in a happy dance with him. When they catch their breath, she finally speaks again.  

“I’m so happy for you and Louis! I can’t believe it I’m so –“  

“What?” Harry interrupts, bemused. _What?_ “You think I’m going to the dance with Louis?”  

Gemma’s face falls and she takes a step back.  

“Well _... yeah_.”  

“Now that’s a popular thought today, then.” Harry sits down on his bed and Gemma joins him. “Just to clarify for the second time today, no I am not dating Louis.” This whole conversation has Harry’s mind racing and heart pounding. Either Harry’s being too obvious with his feelings for Louis or he’s missing something huge in the full image of things. Why has everyone been thinking that today?  

“Oh. Well then that’s not important. I just thought – nothing, I thought nothing.” She says, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. “So who’s your date then?”  

“No, what did you think?” Harry won’t let go of this just yet. He’s too curious about this whole situation and he doesn’t have a satisfying amount of information yet.  

“I sort of just assumed you had feelings for him and that was very wrong of me. I apologize.” She says and Harry bites his lip.  

Nobody knows about his crush on Louis, let alone his deep love for him. He’s getting the inkling that maybe he should open up about it to Gemma, though. She already has an idea apparently. Plus, she’s always been the most supportive about things like this. To top that off, she always gives Harry the best advice in the world.  

Gemma’s big sister judgement kicks in once again and she starts rubbing up and down Harry’s arm.  

“You do though, don’t you?” she asks just below a whisper and Harry’s mind feels like it breaks. He looks out the window that’s over his headboard. It’s snowing a hell of a lot that he can’t even see anything but white snowflakes descending and the wind shaking them around. The view is oddly comforting; the blindness of it provides a sense of privacy for Harry. Instead of saying anything about the matter, he just nods and Gemma envelops him into a warm embrace. “I love you so much little brother, even though you’re an idiot who fell for his own best friend.”  

Harry offers a sad laugh at that and looks up at her.  

“You know I don’t just like him, right?” Gemma looks intrigued when he says this. “I think – I _know_ I’m in love with him.”  

Her jaw drops like the bass in that new Skrillex song that she can’t stop listening to. She stands up and throws her hands up in the air.  

“ _You are in love?_ Why didn’t you _tell_ me about this?” She rants and raves for a good ten seconds before stopping, regaining seriousness and taking Harry’s hand. “Listen. I don’t know if Louis’ in love with you, I have no fucking clue. But what I do know is that he looks at you in the same way you look at him – and if that says anything, it says love. He sure as hell really fucking likes you back or at least digs you.” Kissing his forehead, she stands back up straight.  

“Gems, I don’t know. Plus, I have a date to the dance already. I can’t just go confessing my love for him when A, I don’t know how he feels about me and B, I’m possibly seeing someone. That’s just not classy.”  

“I’m not saying you need to go confessing your love for him. By all means, never tell him. I’m just saying that if you ever wanted to, I don’t think it would go over as badly as you think it would.”  

“I don’t –“  

“Just think about it, Harry.” She says, walking to the door. “I’m out of here. I’m done meddling with my brother’s relationships.”  

Harry shakes his head and takes a moment to think about things. If Louis really did have feelings for him, that would make this Christmas the most amazing one yet. Still, he isn’t convinced of this. Harry is so, so very in love with Louis that it hurts his heart to think about it. He isn’t sure if that feeling will ever go away; he can only hope it will if nothing ever happens. Although for now, he decides that can take his mind off of things and focus on Chris.  

Speaking of Chris, he takes his phone out and types a reply to his last message.  

 _To: Chris_  

 _I am too. Xx I’ll text you my address and stuff later. :)_  

He sends it quickly and lays down on the bed feeling relieved and satisfied. Harry has a date with a _boy_ to the school Christmas dance. 

 

~**~

 

The Christmas dance is in two hours and Harry needs his dress shoes; he can’t seem to find them. He knows he got them when he went shopping with Louis a couple weeks ago, but they went ghost after that.  

He’s not freaking out per se, but he’s scrambling around his house trying to find them. That’s when he calls Louis.  

“ _Hello_?” Louis picks up on the third ring.  

Harry and Louis haven’t spoken since the whole Chris fiasco and he’s not sure why. Sure, there have been texts here and there but they haven’t had a proper conversation in three whole days. The realization of that makes Harry’s chest start to sting. God, Harry’s missed that voice. Even muffled over the phone is good enough for him. Harry’s really missed _Louis_.  

“Louis, hi!” Harry breathes, with a smile. “Um, when we went shopping the other week we bought dress shoes and I don’t have them. I was wondering if you did.”  

“ _Um, yeah I do. I’ll just bring them tonight for you if that’s alright_.” He answers monotone. Louis is usually always animated. Harry doesn’t know what the matter is and it frustrates him to no end. 

“Okay, thanks Lou! You’re my savior.” Harry says insistently. “So-“ 

“ _Harry I’d quite love to talk right now but I’m running late.”_ He answers coldly and Harry’s forehead creases at Louis’ impatient tone.  

“Bye; see you tonight I guess.”  

“ _Later.”_   The line goes dead and Harry is once again left with an unsettled feeling in his stomach. He sets his phone down on the nightstand and walks over to his shoe closet, choosing to ignore the matter and get ready.

There isn’t anything remotely dressy in here; only a pair of purple tie-dye high top trainers and a worn pair of running shoes that Harry forgot he even had. He ends up going with the purple high tops ignoring the fact that he looks like an absolute idiot wearing them with his suit. On the bright side, he only has to have them on until Louis brings him his real shoes. 

Harry isn’t exactly sure why Louis is unhappy with him. There has never been this sort of ignorance between the two of them and Harry honestly feels like they’re having trouble with communicating properly. Normally they’re together every day – and when they aren’t, they phone each other at night and talk about how their day was. In year nine when Louis had strep throat, he begged his mum if he could still call Harry. She had originally said no but Louis pouted and said “I need to hear his voice, as I might miss him.” It’s factual that they never go without speaking or interacting with each other because it’s simply _weird_ if they don’t.   

Shrugging his shoulders, Harry forces himself to stop thinking about it. Louis would never purposefully ignore him unless he’s done something wrong. In fact, he’s sure Louis will talk to him tonight or at least explain why he’s been acting this way.

 

~**~

 

The dance is quite festive. It’s held in the gymnasium of their school and the room is littered with traditional decorations. There are green and red lights flashing everywhere, modernized holiday tunes blaring for people to dance to, evergreen faux pines are pinned to the walls and a fancy little arch in the far left corner from the entrance is set up for people to take pictures together. It’s all very fun and upbeat but there’s one problem; Louis isn’t here yet. 

It would make so much sense if Harry wanted Louis here because he has Harry’s shoes, but of course that’s not the only reason why. The shoes actually aren’t that big of an issue for him; it’s incredibly dark in this room and no one can truly see that he’s wearing the ugliest shoes known to mankind. In all honesty, Harry just misses Louis a hell of a lot. He misses him so much that all of his blood feels like it’s weighing him down. And on top of that, to make Harry seem even more pathetic, he’s so bloody in love that it feels like Louis’ anchoring him to the bottom of the ocean with a rope, engulfing him water and suffocating him. Harry knows that he shouldn’t be feeling this way at his school dance – at least not when he’s here with a date. Poor Chris has been so sweet to him all night yet Harry can’t get his mind off of his best friend.

Harry begins to feel guilty about coming to the dance with Chris. He really shouldn’t have agreed to be his date for the night since he’s still so persistent with his feelings for Louis. He feels as though he _wants_ to be with Chris but he just can’t bring himself to; it’s like there’s a barrier built around him that so clearly belongs to Louis – like there’s a cage keeping him trapped in love and leaving no escape door. No matter how hard he tries to get out of it, no matter how many guys Harry can try to date to take his mind off of him, he knows that at this point in time there’s absolutely no way out. But most of all, Harry figures that maybe he’s in too deep with Louis to even _think_ about starting a relationship with someone.  

The guilt of that realization weighs heavy on his shoulders when the first slow song comes on. He sees Louis walking into the room, clad in a lovely black suit and tie with hair slicked back, making him look as beautiful as ever. He walks in alone, carrying nothing but his drink and scanning the room as if looking for someone.  

“Hey, do you want to dance?” Chris asks him, hand warm on his shoulder and eyes soft. Harry smiles sweetly and nods.  

“I would love to.” He says. 

Chris rests his hands on Harry’s waist as Harry puts his next to the other boy’s neck; they sway together for the start of the ballad. Harry is looking into Chris’ dark eyes, noting that the song playing is by Passenger. And the only reason he knows that is because of Louis. Surprise, most of the things Harry knows he learnt from Louis. Harry didn’t know how to parallel park until Louis took him out for a spin in back of the school and taught him how. Harry didn’t know much about football until Louis came to his door at 11 o’ clock at night to teach him everything about it in his backyard. Harry didn’t know charm, laughter, generosity, beauty or _love_ until he met Louis. He didn’t know eyes like the sea, a heart that beats for passion, a mouth so enticing Harry could literally attack it with his own until he met Louis. And maybe this is puppy love, maybe Harry won’t feel the same way he does now in a year or so, and maybe these feelings aren’t reciprocated – but none of that _matters_ because this is right now and right now is the only thing that properly counts. Dancing here with another lad isn’t going to solve anything and locking his feelings up isn’t going to help a lot either. Harry feels as though he needs to let go of this now, he needs to do _something_ about this as soon as possible.  

“Listen...” Harry starts. He and Chris have been pretty silent throughout this entire exchange so he tries to keep his tone as light as possible. “I just wanted to say thank you for asking me here tonight and for being so nice to me.”  

“No problem, Harry.” Chris laughs. “I’d be a poor date if I didn’t, don’t you reckon?”  

“Yeah, about that – please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not really looking for anything right now.”  

“I understand that.” Chris’ happy expression falters only a little bit, but enough for it to be considered a look of sadness. They continue to sway together to the beat of the song and Harry chews on his bottom lip nervously.  

“It’s not that I’m not interested because by all means I am, it’s just not right for me right now.” 

“Honestly, I’m glad you told me now so that I’m not disappointed later. It’s not that big of a deal if you think about it. We’ve only had what, two or three conversations in person aside from tonight? I’m definitely interested but I don’t know you enough to be sad about this rejection.”  

Harry nearly sighs in relief at his words. He’s so glad that Chris is a good lad, someone who’s understanding and wouldn’t ever be a dick to Harry during his internal love crisis.  

“Thank you so much. I’m so happy that you aren’t angry with me right now – I’m so thankful that you’re okay with this. I feel like such an arse right now and I’m so, so sorry.” Harry pouts and tilts his head but Chris is quick to defend him.  

“I promise that you aren’t being an arse, for God’s sakes. It’s alright; I’m cool with being just mates. Plus, you’ll be fantastic dancing partner for tonight regardless. I don’t need a relationship right now either, it’s a-okay.”  

Harry hums and leans in to give Chris a friendly hug. It feels so nice to know that he’ll always have a friend in him now and that Chris gets it, it just makes it that much easier to accept the fact that he needs to make things happen with Louis.  

At that exact moment though, Harry sees Louis chatting with Zayn and Niall from over Chris’ shoulder and he just watches for a little while.  

“He really likes you, you know.” Chris says secretively when they pull apart. “I can tell.”  

“Who do you mean? Louis?” Harry raises his eyebrows and Chris just nods while pursing his lips. “I don’t think – do you reckon?”  

“And I know you like him back.” He says, nodding.

“How can you be so sure of it, are you psychic? Do you read minds or summat?” Harry teases.  

“Please, anybody with two eyes and a brain could figure it out. I hadn’t even known you well when we first spoke at Louis’ car and I could see the way you guy’s eyes brightened at the sight of one another. I may be a little bit dense, but I’m not a complete idiot.”  

Harry processes this and starts to pout again.  

“But it doesn’t matter if I like him or not because he’s my best mate and I don’t want to risk ruining things.”  

Chris’ face softens. “Harry, I can promise you that if you really like him, you should tell him. The worst that could happen is him not feeling the same and even then, he wouldn’t be a real friend if he made it awkward afterwards. Still I doubt he’d reject you; I’m inclined to believe that you two are crushing on each other.”  

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but realizes that he really has nothing negative to say about that. In fact, Chris has just further helped encourage him to reveal his feelings to Louis and he thinks he’s going to do it tonight, after the dance. Harry feels like he’s had enough of this distant bullshit between him and Louis. It’s sad that it took a date-gone-wrong to figure it out, but Harry takes Chris’ advice graciously. 

The song changes abruptly and now it’s something upbeat. Chris and Harry let go of one another and start to dance at respectful distances, laughing and moving their bodies strangely. Barely a minute into the new song, Harry feels a hand on his lower back and he turns head sharply to see Louis standing there looking very focused.  

“Louis.” Harry tries to say in a normal voice but it comes out more like a sigh. He remembers how cold their conversation on the phone was earlier today so he doesn’t quite know if they’re on good terms right now. “Hi.”  

“Hi.” Louis says with a small smile ghosting on his lips. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but um, I have your shoes in the entrance to the school.”  

 _Right_ , his shoes; Harry completely and totally forgot that he’s been wearing the ugliest shoes on the planet to this formal event. For a minute, he considers laughing at the fact he’s been dancing in them for nearly an hour, but he just nods at Louis and turns to Chris, grabbing his hand and mouthing a quick ‘thank you.’ Louis’ palm burns deep into his back throughout the entire exchange.

 

~**~

 

He takes them through the gym’s front door and all the way through the silent hallway that leads to the entrance of their school. The walk is the complete opposite of awkward but Harry figures that’s because they’re both practically running. Once they get there, Louis picks up a bag that Harry assumes has his shoes in them; Louis reaches his arm out as if he’s going to hand them to him, but then he sighs and drops the bag altogether.  

“I think we need to talk.” Louis says, worried. Harry’s heart slows down in his chest because this is it. Louis probably knows that he’s in love with him and is trying to let him down easy. “I can’t give you your shoes.”  

What did he just say? Harry knits his eyebrows together and scans Louis’ face. “Why can’t you?”  

“I can’t because of literally everything, Harry!” Louis says quickly and all in one exhale. “I came here with nobody on my arm except for your bloody dress shoes. I was fine with that until I walk into the gym and I see you slow dancing with that bloke _Chris._ But then I really look at you and forget about all of that because you’re wearing these ridiculous purple shoes on your feet and they don’t even _look_ bad on you. I start laughing because how fucking pathetic am I, standing there trying to remember a time where you ever looked bad? But the thing is I couldn’t; there is not one moment that I’ve known you where you haven’t looked anything short of breathtaking. I’ve seen you empty your stomach into a trash bin outside of Wal-Mart, I’ve seen you when you haven’t showered for nearly four days, I’ve seen you all cut up in the face after you fell off of that bike a couple of years ago. All I know of you is beautiful and I think I know a hell of a lot of you – but to me I still don’t know enough cause I want to know all of you, I want to hold all of you and see all of you. Basically I want _you_ in general and I always have! So no, Harry; I will not give you your stupid ass shoes because my heart will break in half when I see you walk away in them to be with someone else.” 

Harry is rendered speechless; that was completely unexpected. He’s not quite sure how many times he’s closed and then opened his mouth in effort to get the words out, but he knows it’s a lot. He can barely register what just happened in his mind – did Louis just tell him that he likes him? Is Harry dreaming or something, did his pop get spiked with tequila? He’s not even sure how he’s supposed to follow up after that hell of a speech, but his heart rate speeds up and he gets this rush of adrenaline. A big grin spreads across his face and an unsure version of Harry’s grin appears on Louis’ face.  

His hands slide up to cup Louis’ cheeks and he just blinks dumbly, still completely overwhelmed.  

“You are the most amazing person that I’ve ever met in my life and all I can say is I’m glad I forgot my shoes with you. I’m also glad that you needed a tutor in grade school and that you chose the dumb curly headed kid that’s a year younger than you -- that you chose me. I thought you didn’t even like me – I thought that you liked _Gemma_ for fucks sakes! That’s why I invited you over to build that tree with us even though it hurt me to see you with her.”  

Louis starts to laugh at that. “How the hell did you conclude that I liked Gemma when I almost attacked you with my tongue that same night? You are ridiculous.” Harry feels floaty again.

“Shut up, it made more sense for you to like her than me, otherwise why would you have asked me to be your wingman?”  

“Harry...” Louis groans in amusement. “You did that all on your own, I’m afraid. I never asked you to be my wingman.” 

“Yes you did!” Harry retorts in defense. “You asked me that night at Liam’s after we went skating. After you asked Eleanor out.”  

“First of all, I never asked El out; I was actually just talking to her about asking you out and she was giving me some friendly advice about it.”Louis shakes his head. “That same night when I took you to the kitchen, I wasn’t going to ask you to be my fucking _wingman_ , I was going to ask you out! You jumped to the conclusion that you were going to find me a date and you seemed so on board with it that I thought ‘hey, he doesn’t like you; quit the charade’. That’s why I said no to every single girl that you tried to set me up with because there’s truthfully only one person that I want to be with and it’s you.”  

Harry gives himself a mental slap in the face. How could he be so oblivious? It’s true, Louis never actually asked him to be a wingman, and he sort of just assumed that that was what he wanted of him.  

“Wow, I am such an fool.” Harry whines.  

“I know, but so am I.” Louis says, taking Harry’s hands into his own. "But I'm a fool for you." He looks up and Harry’s eyes follow his. 

There’s bloody mistletoe hanging from the ceiling and they both fall silent. 

“It’s just our luck, innit?” Harry whispers, looking back down and into Louis’ eyes. When did his life become a Lifetime original movie? This is so cliché that it’s almost laughable but Harry doesn’t mind. They both start to chuckle but then it dies out quickly. “I’m so happy that you chose me,” He says below a whisper. 

“Silly Harry, when will you realize that I’m never going to stop choosing you?” Louis asks, bringing Harry’s right hand close to his chest and pressing his lips to his knuckles. “May I kiss you now?” 

Nodding violently, Harry feels Louis’ arms curl around his waist, pulling their bodies flush together, and close enough that their noses are touching. With a tilt of the head, their lips brush together for the first time.  

Their first kiss is tentative and gentle, but then they get into it and it’s filled with much more passion. Harry’s hands come to cup under Louis’ jaw as he presses on his mouth. Louis’ lips are forceful against his own and they have a rough texture to them. Harry loves them, Harry loves _him._   

What can he even say? This moment is simply magical. Who would have thought that making out in the entrance of a school under mistletoe would be this romantic? Harry certainly didn’t think so until now.  

Louis pulls back with wide eyes, looking panicked and startling Harry momentarily. “What about Chris?”  

“Well I guess he’ll have to get over the fact that I just made out with the boy I like...” Harry says and Louis giggles, giving him a peck on the cheek.  

“But seriously babe, I don’t want him to know we’re together until you end things with him.” Louis says into his ear.  

“Don’t you worry; I already told him that I’m not interested. To be fair, he knew right away it was because of you. He wasn’t mad at all and encouraged me to talk to you after but you obviously beat me to it.”   

“Really, then I suppose we can walk back into that room hand-in-hand and have a good night as boyfriends?” Louis asks, offering his hand to Harry. He takes it while nodding nonchalantly when in reality; there are millions of cocoons of caterpillars turning to butterflies in his stomach. Harry is Louis’ _boyfriend_.  

They enter the gym with fingers interlaced and smiles on their faces. Louis and Harry enter the gym as _boyfriends_. 

 

~**~

 

The first time they say ‘I love you’ to one another is the morning of December 24th, also known as Louis’ eighteenth birthday. Harry is lying beside him on the spare bed, having slept over at Louis’ the night before. Their mums don’t let them sleep in the same bedroom anymore now that they’re a couple, but Louis still sneaks in every time to cuddle regardless.  

Naturally, Harry is the first awake and he finds himself tangled between both the sheets and Louis’ limbs. He looks next to him and sees his beautiful boyfriend sleeping peacefully, eyelashes spread across his cheeks and breaths coming slowly. Harry carefully extracts himself from his embrace and throws his leg over Louis so that he’s sitting right on top of him. He leans down and starts peppering soft kisses all over his face until the boy underneath him whimpers and wakes up. His little eyes flutter open and he smiles all cute; Harry is so in love. He leans down and brushes his mouth against Louis’ – wondering if there will ever come a day where their kisses don’t feel this great.  

“Happy birthday, boo!” Harry says against his lips.  

“Thanks pumpkin.” Louis grins as Harry moves down to suck at Louis’ jaw. Harry feels hands creeping through his curls when he licks a stripe up Louis’ neck, hears his boyfriend’s sharp breaths coming through at every suck to his collarbone. Harry wonders if Louis’ heart is beating as fast as his is right now. “Wait, wait, _wait,_ you minx!” Louis pushes them both up so that Louis is sat leaning against his headboard, pupils blown and Harry's right there in front of him sitting on his hips. “We can’t.”  

“Are my ears deceiving me or is Louis Tomlinson denying _birthday sex_?” Harry asks sarcastically and Louis's cheeks are colored a light shade of pink. The same color as his kiss stained lips.

“It’s my eighteenth birthday today and you’re still only sixteen; this is illegal!” Louis jokes back.  

“Sixteen is the age of consent in the United Kingdom and I definitely consent this.” Harry laughs. “Plus, you were technically already eighteen when you snuck into my bed last night and participated in inappropriate bedroom activities with me.”  

Louis starts to cackle at that and presses a kiss to Harry’s nose. It’s not like they actually did anything _that_ bad last night anyways; Louis’ family was still home at the time. Just a little bit of a make-out session is all. Plus, they still have _some_ decency left when they’re around their families. 

“When did you become this feisty?”  

“I get like this when I’m horny. But you won’t know anything more about that now, won’t you?” Harry retorts and puckers his lips as Louis starts to laugh even more.  

“You are such a menace – I love you.” Louis says with crinkles in his eyes and the brightest smile.  

Whoa. 

Harry knows that it slipped out and that it wasn’t intentional, but knowing that makes it feel a lot better. Louis said _it_ first, and he said it in a way that was real and clearly unplanned. He said it during a regular morning for the two of them, not a fancy dinner or something incredibly extravagant; and because of that, Harry freezes. Louis’ eyes widen and his jaw drops. “Don’t freak out.”  

Harry just grabs a hold of his jaw and kisses him feverously. Once they pull apart, Louis’ eyes are glistening with utter fond and lust and Harry stares straight into them. God, he still feels fireworks when he looks at him and it’s been ten years that they’ve known each other. 

“I love you so, so much.” Harry says back and Louis sighs as he plunges back to Harry’s mouth. Saying it like this, as boyfriends is so much more special than the way that they used to say it; ‘Love you, mate’ or ‘big love.’ None of that ever felt they way this feels.  

Louis licks into his mouth as Harry takes control, grinding circles into his pelvis. The older boy beneath him whimpers when Harry bites his bottom lip and his hips naturally buck up, causing all of Harry’s blood flow to travel to his hard dick. He can feel that Louis’ hard too, he can feel the outline of him on his thigh and that riles Harry up even more. He starts to suck at the skin around Louis’ earlobe and he gasps, taking in all the pleasure which causes Harry to moan against his boyfriend’s skin.  

Underneath him, Louis stills, and Harry looks up at him with wide eyes.  

“Sorry, that was loud.” Harry whispers with a grin as Louis starts to chuckle.  

“It’s not only that, it’s also that we really shouldn’t be doing this.” Louis pouts apologetically and kisses Harry once more on the corner of his mouth. “At least not here and now, right in the morning when my family are literally sleeping in the rooms next door.”  

Harry nods, completely understanding. They have decency, yes, but this moment was almost beyond control. They’re in _love_. “Do you want to, though?”  

Louis takes Harry’s hand and puts it over his pants to rub at his throbbing length. Harry bites back a moan; he feels so _good_ – but then Louis lets go and Harry brings his hand back up over the covers and the moment is over.  

“Let’s just say my body is screaming yes but my mind is telling me that I don’t want my entire family to _hear_ my body screaming yes... Do you know what I mean?” Louis replies humorously and Harry can’t help but let out a giggle. Fuck, if his boyfriend isn’t the cutest thing ever.  

“I get what you mean, don’t worry.” Harry assures him while rolling off of Louis, suddenly feeling cold at the loss of contact. “Want to shower and then have hot cocoa?”  

Louis swings his legs off the other side of the bed and stands up, nodding enthusiastically.  

“Maybe if we head downstairs, play some Christmas music and turn the shower on, we can get rid of these, um, _problems_ together; _without_ the risk of my whole family hearing us.”  

Harry gets off the bed as fast as Louis does with an enormous grin.  

“It sounds like a deal, you filthy animal." 

 

~**~

 

Even though they’ve only technically been together for about a week, not much has changed between the two of them. They still laugh like fools around one another, act the same way around their friends and family except now they kiss and say they love each other a lot more.  

And honestly, Harry’s had Louis’ Christmas gift for almost five months now but he knows that now that they’re an item, the gift is a lot more meaningful and serious. Of all the years they’ve been friends, Harry has not once been this nervous; he’s about to give Louis his present and he’s stupidly paranoid that it will seem like Harry’s coming on too strong. Deep down, he knows that Louis will probably like it considering they love each other but he still can’t help that his palms are start to sweat and shake. They’re at Harry’s now for the evening of Christmas, but they spent the morning at Louis’.  Though it’s not the first time they’ve spent this holiday in each other’s company, it feels different this time – almost like their romantic relationship makes it feel more comfortable, and more at home. Harry supposes that it’s been meaning to feel this way all along. 

Gemma was the most thrilled about the news of their relationship; his mum had cried and Robin honestly didn’t seem too surprised whatsoever, but Gemma had squealed and didn’t stop talking about it for hours upon hours upon _hours_. (Not that Harry had minded, he gladly shared all of the juicy details about it and she was so absorbed in every single story for the entire night.)  

However the rest of his family, like his aunts and uncles, didn’t know until tonight, except for his aunt Lydia who already thought that they were a couple. Louis politely replied _‘I think I’ve always had heart eyes for him that’s why!_ ’ and Harry turned into a beet red pile of fond. 

But now here they are, and Harry is so nervous but Louis is right in front of him and the nerves semi sneak away. Before he knows it, he’s being handed a card with a big rectangular box attached to it. 

“Unwrap the box before you read the card, babe; it’s important.” Louis says to him quietly as they sit knee to knee on Harry’s sofa. Just by looking at the wrapping job, he can tell Louis wasn’t the one who did it. Normally, it’s all disheveled and far from neat; it must have been his mum. 

Everybody else in the room is too involved in their own conversations to be paying attention, but of course Harry spies Gemma eyeing them from the corner and he gives her a knowing look. 

Harry rips the paper to shreds and finds that it’s a shoe box, laughing because these are his shoes from the dance that Louis didn’t end up giving him.  

“You are so stupid!” Harry cries and Louis just smiles softly, gesturing to the pink envelope that holds the card.  

Harry peels it apart and opens the card, reading the message handwritten in it. 

 

 _Harry,_  

 _You are the most embarrassing person I’ve ever met. What an incredible term of endearment, right? Do you remember that time when you slept over two or three years ago after helping me study for my maths exam? Well you woke up in the morning next to me, all soft skin and curious eyes and asked me if I believed in ghosts. And I remember my first thought was ‘what an embarrassing question, ghosts obviously don’t exist – you are such an idiot; but then I looked at you again and my breath hitched. All I saw was beauty. You’re beautiful not only to look at or to listen to or to touch, but even just to be with. From your head to your toes, from the bottom of your heart to the top of it, I knew in that moment that I was in love with you. It was all because I noticed you say the most idiotic things sometimes. Even though I often wondered if everything was alright in that imaginative little brain of yours, I still cherished every long and boring story that you cared to tell me and every dumb pun you had to explain for me to understand. ‘Cause that was the time I figured that every little embarrassing thing you tell or give me is like you letting me have another piece of you. And I will keep on stealing these little pieces of you until I’ve built an entire other heart in me that beats just for you. I’m so in love, more than words can describe and I’m so happy that I finally get to be yours. I’m sorry we took this long to get it right._  

 _Yours Sincerely,_  

 _Louis_  

 

Just as Harry starts to feel tears prickle in his eyes, he looks over to the left of the card and sees a train ticket to Leeds where they’ll be attending Leeds Festival together on the weekend of the 26th of August. They’ve talked about going to this forever but they’ve never actually gone through with it and bought tickets. Harry squeals and pulls Louis into a hug and gives him a quick peck on the lips.  

“You are so, so, so, so amazing, Lou!” Harry says, astonished and forever grateful, thoroughly kissing Louis' mouth.  “Okay now you open my gift,” He carefully disposes the small box and card into Louis’ lap and watches as he peels open the envelope. Every year instead of buying a card from a store, Harry makes one on his own and adds the most terrible Christmas puns that he can think of.   

“I love the Chris Crinkles by your eyes. You won’t need to sit on Santa’s lap this ye – oh my _God_ Harry!” Louis’ already laughing, clearly noticing how much more inappropriate they are this year. “ _Drink my milk and eat my cookies?_ There are terrible!” Harry’s biting his lip, trying to stifle his laughter and Louis is giggling uncontrollably. “You are adorable.”  

Next, Louis starts to tear apart the wrapping paper around the jewelry box and opens it, revealing the gift he’s been so nervous about all night. Harry sighs in relief when Louis’ eyes soften at the sight of it. He puts the ring in his hand and examines it carefully.  

“This is beautiful, Haz. I know how much this means to you.” Louis’ voice cracks and Harry swears that his boyfriend is choking up. He notes that and puts it in his mind for future reference. 

“If you look on the inside of it, it has a little message.” Harry says softly. “And it matches my anchor ring, see,” He puts his hand next to Louis’ new ring as Louis slips his on his index finger.  

Louis’ gift is basically a replica of the tanzanite ring his grandma got him a while ago, only this ring is made of shapes that form a rope to complement his anchor. On the inside, it reads ‘ _be with someone that you want anchored to your soul, B.S’_ being a direct quote from his grandmother. 

“I don’t know if I ever told you this, but when my grandma gave me my ring she was the only one I was out to,” Louis nods, still wowed by the beautiful gift he just received. “When she gave it to me, she said exactly what’s engraved on the inside of your ring and let me tell you it was the best advice she’s ever given me – because it led me to you. No, helped lead me to you. I was still scared and in denial but I knew then that if I wanted anyone to stick with me for the rest of my life, it was you and I’m positive that it always will be. And I _know_ it might sound sill -” Louis cuts Harry off with a kiss on the lips. It’s soft and tender and Harry feels butterflies in his stomach all over again. He wonders if he should get a butterfly permanently tattooed on his stomach to represent the way he feels when he’s around his boy.   

“I love it so much – I love _you_ so much, okay?” Louis says while cupping Harry’s face and looking into his eyes. “I never want you to forget how much I do. I never want to spend another Christmas without you.”  

Harry nods enthusiastically, accepting Louis’ words like a promise and pulling his boyfriend into a bone crushing hug.  

As crazy as it seems, this promise – this silly promise made on Harry’s sofa during their first Christmas spent together as a couple – will remain significant for the rest of their lives. 

 

 ~**~


End file.
